A brain dump

I need to write one of my college essays today. I'm totally tired, though, so I figured I'd write a blog post to clear my foggy mind.

I am not used to posting. When I did post in my blog, it allowed me an opportunity to organize my thoughts. Everything was clearly in order, with all the details clearly defined in my head. Lately, though, I haven't thought like that. It's because I haven't been writing in my blog I feel like it's also caused my memory to be not as good as it once was, since I have little incentive to remember the details about what happened to me during the day or what I thought about.

It's effectively a brain dump, this blog. Is it actually helpful to my writing development? Not sure about that. I do tend to ramble and not think about what I type when I'm writing on my blog. It's not like I have an audience. This is just a journal.

It provided an great medium for which to vent on, or clear my head with. There's something comforting knowing that a piece of information or a thought or opinion is written down, rather than just left spinning in my head.

I am right now listening to Modest Mouse's Gravity Rides Everything, and I'm wondering how many times I have written n my blog while listening to this exact song. Surely it must have been a ton. Modest Mouse was my go-to band while writing. I know the music so utterly well that it's just background noise that I can't be distracted from. Its unobtrusiveness allows me to think un-self-consciously.

I haven't been ignoring channeling my writing abilities. I've been still writing poems, though it's admittedly not as often as I once did. Lately, I've been concentrating on trying to write some original songs. I'm slowly amassing more and more, some being better than others.

Whenever I feel dissatisfied with a poem or song I've written, I think back to John Darnielle, my favorite artist, and his first album. He made it in his early twenties and it's god-awful. I then realize I'm only 17 and I'm already producing material better than him. and look how amazing his music has got with dedication to his work, leaving all of the old projects behind him. It inspires me to write songs even if they are not perfect, and at this stage, constant production is the only thing that will allow me to get better.

This has cleared my mind a little bit. I feel a little bit better, more mentally energized than before. I'm going to do some exercises now to wake me up further.

Later, Bloggy,
Austen